It has certainly been a while since I have written anything on here; so I have decided that it is time for an update.
Just Friends
A couple weekends ago, I went over to visit with Sebastian and Katja. For the first little while, it was just Sebastian and me; so we decided to keep the house rules between us; however when Katja came home, the house rules were no longer in effect. I think keeping them for the first few hours helped me transition a bit…but it ultimately comes down to what everyone is comfortable with. We spent the rest of the weekend just hanging out, and I think it helped me move on…
Jonas and Helene
After my relationship with Sebastian and Katja drifted permanently into just friendship; I had a short break from the kink “scene.” Walking home from work one day, I noticed a big poster on a wall that read “Intro to Kink Night.” Sadly, the event had been over for half an hour; so I continued walking and didn’t think much more of it. The next day, I received a message on FetLife from a man (Jonas) and his girlfriend (Helene). They had attended the Kink Night, and were interested in incorporating kink into their sex lives, and were looking for someone to help them with it. We met for coffee, chatted, moved to a quiet bar, chatted some more, and for the second time, I went home with someone new on the first night.
New Experiences
The first night with Jonas and Helene was definitely one full of firsts – for all of us. It was interesting to see how much I could and can still learn from them; to see a completely different kind of kinky couple from Sebastian and Katja. Jonas taught me how to give Helene oral sex; and it was quite the first experience. I understand now, why it is, that people go crazy over tasting a woman’s sweetness. That night, I also moved towards acceptance, and even enjoyment, of oral sex being performed on me. I am still not completely comfortable with it; but I am getting there, slowly.
It was the first time, in a long time, that I was treated as an equal in the bedroom. At first, I was not used to it; just doing whatever I wanted to do, not being told what to do, and not asking permission for things; but after a while, I became accustomed to the change of routine. It was a very successful “introduction” night for us all, and I am happy that we were able to have this experience.
So What? Thoughts, Emotions…
I thought I was done with couples, and I may very well be. to me, Jonas and Helene are just casual play partners. They are not looking to go anywhere relationshippy with me, and I am not looking to go there with another couple. I feel as though they may perhaps be my attempt to fill that hole, where Katja and Sebastian once were. When it comes down to it, I get lonely, and I get horny. Playing with Jonas and Helene seems to satisfy my sexual desire and also lets me not feel alone for a little while. I am aware that from them I am getting temporary fixes for my emotional lows, but I think it’s what I need for right now. Also, if I can lead them further into my world of kink, it would provide a new experience for me, as a “teacher’ of sorts and it would also benefit them. And yet, while I know there are pros and cons to place that I am in right now, I cannot help but wonder…
Should sex be this casual?
Something my father said when I told him about my lifestyle was simply that “sex should not be this casual.” While my opinion differs greatly from my parents most of the time, I cannot help but wonder if he is right. I spent a total of maybe three hours talking with Jonas and Helene before going home and hopping into bed with them. Am I being too reckless? Am I looking to fuck my inner emotional struggles away? I would like to make clear right now that I do not regret what happened that night. Not in the least. My gut told me that going home with them was right. I may very well be over-analysing my situation.
I have just lost my train of though, so I guess I’ll just end the post here. As for where Jonas, Helene, and I will go; I have no idea. I suppose only time will tell.
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