Read My Kink

Photo Credit: Unknown
Let us travel back to the day I had my first orgasm.  Believe it or not, I was not a huge fan of my clitoris.  I did not even think to explore there; however, I was more than interested in exploring anal play.  While I experimented with my fingers, and eventually a dildo; I was never able to climax from anything entering and/or fucking my ass. It was not until someone showed me how pleasurable my clitoris was, that I had my first orgasm.

My first orgasm happened the first time I went out to play.  I laid down on the bed, as Dieter used his finger on me.  I cannot remember how long it took, what was going through my mind, or how long it lasted; but the burst of pleasure I felt was absolutely amazing.  He sent me home with a vibrator that night,as well as a bottle of lube and some batteries.

And there began the bittersweet curse put upon my cunt: an addiction to vibrators.

Naturally, when someone hands me a vibrator, I am going to play with it, try it in as many different ways as I can think of, and even kill it with overuse.  From then on, all of my orgasms had been with toys.  Because of this, my body has/had become dependent on the use of various sex toys, in order to reach a climax.

Shortly after meeting Sir and Miss, they noticed my dependency on toys and decided that I should learn to climax without them.  For the last while now, with the exception of one pre-exam-stress-relief orgasm, I have not been permitted to use toys (well…this was a rather loose rule.  I have been allowed to use non-vibrating toys after first trying with my fingers), and Sir and Miss have been giving me tasks to try and cum with only the use of my fingers.

It had been a very frustrating feat, as I always came very close to an orgasm; but for one reason or another, my mind and body would not get their acts together.  While it was frustrating, I was also willing to starve my body of orgasms, because by my logic, if I felt orgasm-deprived, I would have an easier time trying to get an orgasm with my fingers.

I am pleased to say that it finally worked.  After my last final exam of the year, Sir instructed me to cum with my fingers.  He also gave me permission to have 5 minutes with the first anal dilator, and permission to read some erotic stories.  It felt absolutely amazing to have something in my asscunt again.  After a little under 2 months of a break from anal play (due to ripping and tearing,) having my hole filled again was more than pleasurable.  That, in combination with a schoolgirl story I was reading and my fingers working their magic on my clitoris brought me to a very much-craved orgasm.

While the situation was not perfect, I am happy that I managed to finally experience pleasure from using my fingers.  In the future, I wish to be able to do so without help from erotic reading material, porn, or non-vibrating toys  If there is one thing I have learned though, it is that I cannot expect myself to be perfect right off the bat.  The curse on my cunt may be broken, but there is still much work to be done.  I want to re-condition myself, drop the dependency I have on toys, and learn to enjoy the sensations my fingers can bring.

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