Read My Kink

Last night, I was enjoying a lovely video chat with Katja and Sebastian, (who from now on will be referred to as Miss and Sir) when I was posed with quite the dilemma.  I had been sleeping the entire day, trying to overcome some problems with digestion, and was not in the mood to play with myself.  We had come to a point in the conversation where Sir wanted Miss to tell me to play with my cunt, but did not force her to do so.  He also said the she could not have any kisses unless I touched myself.  At the same time, Miss also told me that she did not want me to touch myself if I did not feel like it.

I was stuck.  I wanted Miss to have her kisses, and I could tell by the look on Sir’s face, that he wanted me to touch myself.  I could have lied and told Miss that I was really horny, that all I wanted to do was touch myself, that I wanted to cum.  But I did not.  Had I told her those words, it would not have felt genuine, and sincerity was important to me.

From what i could tell, and also from what she told me later, Miss was not disappointed in me.  While I understood that, I really wish I could have flicked on the “horny” switch in my brain, so that she could get her kisses.  On the other hand, Sir had a giant smirk on is face the entire time, and knew (I think) exactly why I felt conflicted.  He also knew exactly how to push my buttons and frustrate me even more.

I have yet to fully understand what I was feeling that night.  It is difficult when two people whom you submit to, have conflicting ideas about what they want you to do.  I suppose this is just something I will learn to deal with in time.

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